Yes you have a perpetual toddler living with you. You are setting her and yourself up for failure. Cockatoos are not meant to be cuddle bugs. In the wild they would snuggle with their mate. In captivity they choose a perceived mate and snuggle with that person. You can not be a mate to this bird. Keep the petting to the neck and above, no snuggling in bed, petting under the wings, rubbing down her back etc.. You need to set limits on yourself and start to train her to not scream. You have allowed her to do more damage in your home in one month than Cassie has done in my home over the course of 13 years. You want to reinforce the quiet vocalizations and ignore the screaming. Letting her ride around on your shoulder to stop her from screaming is setting her up for failure. More than likely failure through out her life while being shuffled from home to home to home. If you really want to live with a too you need to help her learn. Are you ready? There are a number of people here who are more than willing to help you but you have to want to do this. If not bring her back to the rescue. This is strong and I realize this but you need to sit back and look at what is going on. Living with a too can be a wonderful experience but you need to be committed.