When I was married, I lived for close to 5 years with a severe macaw that loved my (now) ex-husband and hated me. He did everything he could to drive me out of the house so he could have my ex to himself. I had to be constantly on bite watch as well. I know how exhausting it is. But because I was the one (along with my ex) to bring him into our house, I realized that it was up to me to make sure that he had as good of a captive life as we could give him.
I completely changed my expectations of what life with him would be. I stopped trying to have him step up on my arm because he was completely unpredictable. Instead, I stick trained him so I could still move him around. We played games through the cage. I'd put food on a long-handled spoon and give him treats. I knew where he was at all times and always kept a stick within reach, so if he started to bite I could pick him up and not get bit. But we could still have a decent (though different than I originally imagined) life together. We had dance parties and sang songs together. We had other little games, like fetch, that we'd play together.
As others have said, you can't take it personally. Try to figure out a way around this in order to still give him a good captive life.
Also, you mention cuddling a few times - not entirely sure what you mean by that, but that could be a huge part of the problem. By trying different things, I know you can find a solution that works for you and allows your bird to keep his home!
So what happened with the bird after your husband became an ex?
My bird isnt all that bad with me but is a women's bird. I had a couple over the other day and the wife was able to get him out of the cage and he was loving all over her. I just have to live with the fact that he wont be loving towards me as to a woman. When I say cuddle he will snuggle his head into your chest and sometime roll his head upside down. Has a way of melting your heart.