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#7233 - 03/28/02 12:59 AM Sydney my M2 - He is afraid of me.  
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 3
Tiger Lily Offline
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Tiger Lily  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 3
maryland
Sidney is a 7-8 year old M2 male. I purchased Sydney from a rescue and I am his 4th owner. I have owned Sidney for 4 months. Sidney is not agressive nor does he make a lot of noise. In fact, most of the time, unless my daughter or her boyfriend are home he is quiet. Sidney is a good eater and in excellent health. I did take him to the vet and had all appropriate testing done. all tests were neg. Sidney has not yet talked to us.

When Sidney first came, no one could touch him. He would give me kisses but no one else.

One day my daughters boyfriend came over to visit. Sidney went over to him but nothing happened because Jesse is afraid of Sidney.

The next visitor, my friend who has gray hair and wears glasses, Sidney started hollaring and immediately jumped into her lap for caresses as soon as she sat down. He exhibits the same behavior when my mother comes to visit. My mon resembles my friend.

Now Sidney has also taken to my husband and even follows him into other rooms.

I am Sidney's primary care taker. Sidney will not let me touch him but he still gives me kisses. If I am wearing my reading glasses, Sidney will come over to me cautiously but I am still unable to touch him. I bet if I wore glasses and a grey wig I too could pet Sidney.

Sidney will come over to me for his favorite treats and take them from me but he promply runs away. He will even step on my leg to get treats.

Whenever I try to touch Sidney he starts shaking and runs away. If Sidney is off of his cage and I come into the room he will immediately run back to his cage and start shaking. I have never hurt Sidney in any way.

Do you have any suggestions of what I can do so Sidney will not be afraid of me and let me touch him? I bought Sidney as a pet for me but it seems he is everyone elses pet but mine.

#7234 - 03/28/02 01:45 AM Re: Sydney my M2 - He is afraid of me.  
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 115
Jeanne Harney Offline
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Jeanne Harney  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 115
Toledo OH USA
Well, they do have an idea of who they want to be owned by, don't they?

I can't say for sure what Sydney's past is, as you can't. You may be dealing with the fallout from something that happened years ago. Example: My Fred was hurt by adolescent boys, mostly. Just the sound of a boy's voice is enough to set him off. He (mostly) trusts my husband now, though Ron does get bitten more frequently, where I have enough trust with Fred to let him preen my eyelashes and he lays upside down on his back on top of my head while I"m sitting at the computer.

What I would do, if I were you, is to sit by his open cage/stand and just pay no attention to him, reading, or doing some sort of handwork type thing. Don't look at him. Then, perhaps, read out loud to him. My birds LOVE to be read to. Once again, don't look at him. Perhaps eat something wonderful! Do this for a LONG time...weeks? Months? Make sure any talking is low and soothing. Let him get curious as to what you're doing. I find anything that takes concentration like embroidery is good, because they have to run over and get everything tangled up <G>

Let him approach you. He's naturally curious. He'll eventually figure out you're harmless. He'll make the overtures in time. But you can't rush it.

When he does come over, don't pounce on him or try to move quickly to pet him or anything. Just let him be with you. As he gets more comfortable, he'll probably shove his head into your hand, if for no other reason than to get what you've got in your hands...one reason why food is better than embroidery!

This could take years. It could take days. But let HIM make the moves...let him decide to trust you. Let him be the boss, at least in this little way.
(and wear the reading glasses, if it seems to help!)

Jeanne

#7235 - 03/28/02 02:51 AM Re: Sydney my M2 - He is afraid of me.  
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 3
Tiger Lily Offline
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Tiger Lily  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 3
maryland
Jeanne,

Thanks for the speedy response. I know it will take a lot of patience. I will certainly try your suggestion. I just want him not to be afraid of me.

I know he is happy because he will grab the cage and flap his wings and call.

Time is what a can devote to my Sidney.

Thanks again for your response. Do you think I should try the grey wig? teehee.


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