LKW, I do understand how you feel, and if you do end up buying that bird, please do not be afraid to stay here and keep talking.
It is so awful to be preyed upon like we are by pet stores. My heart is pounding in my chest and there's nothing I can do right here, right now. I hate how this seems never to end- I do hate this cycle with every ounce of my being. Try to be strong, consider that even the "meanies" that are in petstores are that way through no fault of their own and are no less deserving of being "rescued", and the selection of one over another is still pretty damning to the "other" bird. I don't know what to do. I could stand here, blood rushing to my face, pulling out my hair, steaming, until I explode. I feel like the movement to help birds is so fractured, I have no real outlet for my energies. I seize every single moment and chance I get to act out personally. I fight hard. I have also tried to steal birds from pet stores. I was almost caught, but what I did was say that I forgot the bird was on my shoulder (wings were clipped). It really sucks. I feel like if I try to communicate what people need to understand in order to change things, I come across as overly emotional, and yet this is an issue based at least partially on emotion. I feel like I get painted as "radical" so that what I have to say is devalued. And I hate that when I get angry, I start crying and look like a fool. It makes my anger lose whatever power it might have had. It's just so depressing.