Hey everyone. I know I don't post here often, and I'm sorry for that (grad school has kept me incredibly busy), but I just had to share the news with someone. As I've shared before, I was the proud owner of two cockatiels, Sophie and Cricket. Sophie, while I loved her to death, always had health problems; she couldn't grow a tail, and even when she did she would pluck it out. If you took her out of the cage, she'd get scared and run straight into the nearest wall (we had to be extremely careful with her). She had a terrible habit of injuring herself by flailing around in her cage, and she was entirely incapable of laying eggs. Regardless of all of this, I loved her unconditionally, and treated her with as much love and care as I possibly could during her short life.
Yesterday, I went to uncover her cage and found her matted and bloody, her side picked raw and her beak covered in dried blood. Horrified, I rushed her to the vet, where they discovered she'd burst a blood feather overnight and had only survived because the blood had clotted. They bandaged her, gave me an antibiotic spray, and sent me home with her. She seemed to be doing well, so I went to sleep confident she would be okay. This morning, I took her to get her bandages taken off, but when I got home, the blood feather had re-opened and she was bleeding everywhere. I quickly tried to bandage her and rushed her back to the vet, where they re-applied a professional bandage.
But she was worn out, and the blood loss had taken its toll on her. Because I've slept terribly the last couple of nights, I decided to take a nap, leaving her in a quarantined carrier with food and water to rest. When I woke up and went to check on her, she felt cold and wasn't moving. I was devastated; how could I have slept through the death of my own pet? I tried my hardest to save her, but I guess it just wasn't enough. Even though I know I did all I could, I can't help the guilt I feel. If I'd only found her sooner that morning, if I'd gotten her back to the vet quicker, if they hadn't taken her bandage off, would she still be here? I might never know, but I do know that I'll always miss her, and I hope she's flying freely up in cockatiel heaven. She deserved so much more than what she got, and I thank God that she's free of pain now.
I apologize for popping out of nowhere, but I had to share my pain, and I knew everyone here would understand. Rest in peace, little Sophie. I will always love you, and I'm so, so sorry I failed you.