I am fully aware of how difficult this is for humans who are punishers by nature. Temple Grandin writes about it in her book Animals make us Human. Very interesting book, I find it fascinating that she has the same problems with teaching stockpeople how to be gentle with cows and pigs.
See what happens to people who push elephants around. They get stomped to death. Birds bite.
My Grandfather was a farmer, and fully believed in treating his work animals, with the utmost respect and love. Other folks who had unruly animals and were ready to get rid of them (ie destroy them), would ask my Grandfather if he wanted them. He would take them and treat them with the respect and love they deserved, and he would tame then into gentle creatures. Oh it took him a great deal of time and patience, but he became known as somewhat of an animal whisperer (there just wasnt a title like that back then) in that area.
Food treats were critical to earn the animals trust in the beginning. Grandpa always carried a pocket full of carrots wherever he went lol.
I remember my Grandfather saying many times, these creatures are here to help us. How we treat them, is how they will treat us. He was a simple man, who fully understood ABA before it was ever thought of.