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#229713 - 01/26/11 04:04 AM Thoughts and prayers needed.  
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Chewy Offline
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I am feeling more and more depressed lately. I can't freaking cry either though I feel like it. And if Iam not sleeping I'm laying in bed acting like I am.
Please know that I know this is a cockatoo board. But I feel that you guys are family, family that I can talk to about this. I can't talk to my own family they freak.
My depression has taken it's toll on Chewy. Sometimes I feel as if I am being more selfish by keeping him in the state of mind that I am in, but then rational thinking, I know he'd miss me more then anything. So he's not going anywhere.
I do take him out every day, numerous times a day, even if it's just to sit on his playstand in the living room while I am in there reading my book.
I do journal, I text people,I go for walks with my dog.
I do go to my psychiatrist Feb 3rd. My therapist is going with me. not because Iam scared of myh psychiatrist but because I want him to share what he knows and seen too.


look to your birds for love
Chewy RB2
Lightning-parakeet
Zeus-zebra finch
RIP
Eli
little foot Cockatiels
#229720 - 01/26/11 05:52 AM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Chewy]  
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EchosMom Offline
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Of course you will be in my thoughts and prayers - you always are.

Erin, I have grown very fond of both you and Chewy. I hope you know this, so please understand that what I am going to say is said out of that care and concern for both of you. This isn't the first time that you've mentioned that your illness is taking a toll on Chewy, and honestly, it does not surprise me. I've been concerned for quite some time now. As painful as it would be, I do think that it's time that you seriously consider placing him in him a loving home that is better prepared to deal with the high demands of a cockatoo - emotionally and financially. I cannot help but wonder if the selfish feelings that you have about keeping Chewy are eating away at your inside, and just making you feel even worse and more depressed.

Sometimes doing the right thing is the most difficult thing of all. I ask that you look deep inside yourself and remember that while Chewy would most definitely miss you, and you him, that alone is not a good reason to keep him with you.

I'm sorry if what I have said hurts your Erin, it hurt me to say this to you. But please remember it is because I care for the two of you. You have to put Chewy first - it's your responsibility. You are a good person Erin and have a huge heart. I know how much you love Chewy, which is why you must act solely in his best interest.



Birds are angels who lift us up when our own wings forget how to fly.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world - indeed it is the only thing that ever has!" ~~~ Margaret Meade ~~~

Noelle, A Rehabilitation in Progress
#229730 - 01/26/11 08:13 AM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: EchosMom]  
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jm47 Offline
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Erin, I'm in something of a similar situation. I have been diagnosed with terminal cancer. There are metasteses. I will eventually die. The diagnosis came during a time when we were in a situation where the birds were boarded with someone else, and I wondered if we would ever live with them again. Since we moved here, and have them with us again, they have found it difficult to adjust (as I also have) to the differences in lifestyle. I don't see any advantage to uprooting them further, or disturbing their flock any more, so they will be staying with us.
I know that no 2 situations are the same, but I also have faith that we are the people assigned to care for Bill and Phred, and God will make us able to fulfill that responsibility.
I will be praying for you. Love you lots.


Jody
#229733 - 01/26/11 03:48 PM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: jm47]  
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Erin-I also find myself in a health situation where I am greatly concerned that those health issues will greatly effect Bogie's future. As I've related to others, Bogie will have a forever home with me as long as I can draw breath. The catch is, due to my deteriorating heart condition, I have no idea how long I may be able to do just that. To add to my concern and confusion, if at some time in the future I qualify for a heart transplant, I have been informed that I should have no birds or cats, as they would pose a serious risk once I'm on the anti-rejection medication. The former scenario has me looking for possible rehoming options when I can no longer be there to care for him. The latter scenario provokes a reaction of "Is it fair of me, in the hopes of gaining a couple of years of life, to rehome a friend that I promised to care for for as long as I lived?" One credo of the Marine Corps that I found particularly comforting was that you never ever leave another Marine buddy behind. I find the possibility of being told that health situations would preclude me from following that belief highly disturbing.
All that being said, I must always consider what will be, in the long run, what is best for Bogie. Right now I can honestly say that I can care for him, and meet not only his physical, but mental and emotional needs. However, if and when the time comes, and I can't either be there to provide for him, or become so physically incapacitated that he might suffer on so many levels, it would be selfish of me not to explore other avenues, no matter how hard that might be on me emotionally. It will come down to an honest examination of what I can handle, and what is best for Bogie.
I can only hope that you receive the assistance you need. I am on a pill regime that includes about 14 pills a day. It's a hassle, but I realize that the medication and plethora of doctor appointments are what keeps me going. I also have found that forcing myself to work at keeping a positive attitude is well worth the effort. I hope any and all decisions you make work out for both you and Chewy.

John

#229740 - 01/26/11 07:22 PM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Bogie's Buddy]  
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Cleo's Mom Offline
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Do I know what's best for you and Chewy? Of course not, but my concern is that re-homing him would take a terrible toll on you both mentally and emotionally. It sounds like you are meeting his needs by giving him out-of-cage time and play time as well as cuddle time. Hopefully your psychiatrist will come up with a plan that will relieve your depression, as mine did. You know you're in my thoughts and prayers.


Pat

One Day At A Time
#229745 - 01/26/11 10:53 PM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Cleo's Mom]  
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Thanks guys/gals. I don't know if I can emotionally afford to give up Chewy right now.
After I wrote this y esterday I went home and played with him for a couple of hrs. he was so happy to see me. I do feel that I am capable of taking care of him. he's loving me tolerates my roommate.
I talked to my therapist bout it and he greatly advises against rehoming him. I know he knows zilch to none about cockatoos and what they need. But he knows me.
I will pray for everyone here too. I appreciate you guys telling me your in the same boat as me sometimes. I do have people lined up for him when I die or whatever. My brother and sis in law I am sure would take him if absolutley neccessary. He (chewy) loves my older nephew

Last edited by Chewy; 01/26/11 11:22 PM.

look to your birds for love
Chewy RB2
Lightning-parakeet
Zeus-zebra finch
RIP
Eli
little foot Cockatiels
#229746 - 01/26/11 11:19 PM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Chewy]  
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Milton Offline
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Fisrt,all my prayers and good thoughts go out to you and Chewy. We all know that these wonderful birds are very aware of the feelings of the people that they share their lives with. I second the thoughts your therapist has about not rehoming Chewy. I also suffer from depression. With professional help,I'm fighting the good fight. I know you are too. You are taking good care of Chewy,keep it up!

#229747 - 01/26/11 11:23 PM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Milton]  
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Thank you smile


look to your birds for love
Chewy RB2
Lightning-parakeet
Zeus-zebra finch
RIP
Eli
little foot Cockatiels
#229748 - 01/27/11 12:20 AM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Chewy]  
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Scarletts mom Offline
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I second what Milton said! Chewy is your best therapy. He loves you and you him. I talk(text) with you every day so I feel that I know you A LOT better then some other people on this board and I do not agree that you should rehome him. With friends and family he will be taken care of, like when I sent you a care package full of toys for all of your "children"! I will continue to help you in any way you need to properly care for him. smile

#229749 - 01/27/11 01:07 AM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Scarletts mom]  
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Janny Offline
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I mean no offense here...but lets be honest.Sometimes it is in the birds best interest to be placed somewhere that it can be in a stable environment...I have seen the effects that stress can have on birds.

I tend to know a little more than the average person on this board as well and since some have taken offense to what EM has mentioned think I should also state that SOMETIMES a temporary placement may be what is needed.At least until things are figured out and straightened around because when you can barely care for yourself properly how exactly are you going to care for a cockatoo...this isn't a cat,fish or a dog...this is much like caring for a child with much demand.I am not saying that Erin can't do the basics right now BUT I also know there are issues around Chewy plucking his feathers which could likely be from seeing his owner go through depression and also a few other things that I will not mention here as things were said in confidence that I will respect.

Don't come in here SM and think you can rant and be rude to ANY member here let alone a Moderator or an Administrator thinking you know everything about this without thinking clearly!FOR ONE!!!!! We are about the birds not what makes a HUMAN and that is ANY HUMAN happy! Sometimes people have to hear this sort of thing and have some kind of plan in place incase the worst happens!I have seen too many times where a person says they loved their bird and didn't want to give it up because THEY needed it without thinking "well hello what about the bird".When it comes to depression....you never know when it will take a turn for the worst and that person is unable to do anything but think of a way out....I work in Psychiatry and am well versed in what Depression and other Mental Illness can do.

Caring for a cockatoo is not JUST about providing toys and food....it a whole picture.

Maybe right now isn't the "right time" but if things get any worse I also believe that there may be a "have to" time....I am saying this out of concern for EVERYONE not just Erin but Chewy also.I can't expect my pets to stay in my home and be my therapy....it isn't fair! That is like putting a young child in place of caring for it's parent...it can't be that way.Our pets rely on US for EVERYTHING!

I in no way want to offend Erin.That is not my intention but I think it is best if there is some sort of plan worked out right now instead of later when or if it is a desperate situation...

Erin I am sorry if any of my post today offends you.It surely is not meant too.


Jan

Sometimes damaged goods are the best gifts the world has to offer
#229751 - 01/27/11 01:30 AM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Janny]  
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Scarletts mom Offline
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I didn't THINK I was being rude, just supportive of Erin which she could use a LOT more of. I don't feel telling her negative things is of much help to someone who was just diagnosed with depression. Maybe words of encouragement would be a healthier way to go.

#229752 - 01/27/11 02:11 AM Re: Thoughts and prayers needed. [Re: Scarletts mom]  
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Charlie Offline
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This is a very individual situation and really beyond the purvey of a bird board. Things like this need to be worked out with professionals not bird people so I am closing this thread.


Moderated by  BE2Cassie, Beeps, EchosMom, Janny 

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